Thursday, October 05, 2006

A Softened Heart

Several years ago, due to difficult professional circumstances in my life, I found myself becoming cynical and jaded. I've been alluding to God doing some work in my life, and one of those areas that he's been working on has been my tendency towards cynicism. So, I've tried to become less of a critic, less self-righteous and more graceful...but it's been hard. So today, I found myself several times with tears in my eyes...
  • During worship, twice
  • During a talk
  • During a conversation with someone who I didn't even think knew me, but said some very affirming things to me.
And the thing of it is, a couple of years ago, I was upset that it seemed like I didn't ever cry anymore. And I'm just wondering, if, as I'm trying to allow God to change me, and take away my cynical nature, if it's softening my heart, and leaving me more sensitive to the Spirit and to other people. And maybe today was just a glimmer of what life might look like if I can move past cynicism and my often critical nature. now I feel exposed...but it's okay...this is just between friends, right?

1 comment:

dave said...

That's a beautiful thing. You've been a great leader and influence in my life and I've always appreciated your honesty. I'm excited to watch God unwrap more things for you.